FoonLudum Dare ExplorerLD28 → My Old Kentucky Home

My Old Kentucky Home

By emmelineprufrock

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CategoryRankScoreCount
Coolness292
Mood273.90
Audio1153.36
Overall3263.22
Fun5342.82
Theme6832.55
Innovation6942.59
Graphics9751.58

Comments

spike_xp 2013-12-16 03:15

Didn't quite catch the theme, but this is an intriguing story :D Really love the story and how it branches!

ming_tea 2013-12-16 03:29

Very well written and great atmosphere!

crabman 2013-12-16 03:42

Pretty damn cool, love it! And re: the theme, it's her, right? She's the one, alone and on her own, the only person around (for the most part)

boppreh 2013-12-16 04:01

Frisson when the music started and "she hit him again". I too didn't catch the theme (one chance? rapture?), but the mood was great, the text well written and the mechanics used wisely.

onlyslightly 2013-12-16 04:48

Beautiful. Seriously gave me chills.

delfino 2013-12-16 05:02

Excellent writing, it does the job of getting an emotional reaction. The visuals are simple but help set the mood. The songs are great. No real 'humor' but that's obviously not the point of this entry. Great job overall!

benedict 2013-12-16 05:05

I liked this. It's not particularly strongly tied to the theme, but it works. There was some nice branching. The arc of the story felt a little stilted, but the world it built was very nice. The singing caught me off guard but I loved it.

bogden 2013-12-16 05:58

Well written.

whiteknife 2013-12-16 06:11

Good story, gets across the feeling of isolation well, and you make good use of the Twine medium (hit him again and again). The songs are also amazing! Great job overall!

paperblurt 2013-12-16 14:04

Nice feeling and atmosphere.. I like these Twine games that's slice of life focused!

sknoslo 2013-12-16 15:38

Great story, very well written. The music was a really nice touch.

chardish 2013-12-16 21:06

Chilling stuff, and one of the better Twine games I've played. Good writing, good use of the medium and a consistent way of delivering mechanics that makes it clear when you're taking an action and when you're just learning more information. Amazing work.

sudorossy 2013-12-17 01:51

Great writing, but I don't quite get the theme

integershift 2013-12-17 01:59

I didn't see the theme in that. Maybe it was you only get one story? I don't really know. It was fun reading though!

thatguy 2013-12-17 02:01

Nice story, good job.

chrstphrschulte 2013-12-17 02:07

The writing and the medium itself set a very good mood for the game. Keeping information from the player also encourages the imagination to fill in the blanks and become more invested in the character and her struggles. Well done.

mize_vs_mildmojo 2013-12-17 03:11

Good description. Really set the mood.

lissar 2013-12-17 06:18

I really enjoyed the extra bits of writing you could look at that gave the text extra flavor.

kewry 2013-12-17 12:24

Great atmosphere! nice story!

withoutpillow 2013-12-17 14:51

the songs are really beautiful, the set the tone perfectly. and like chardish said, your use of Twine is very good.

the writing was perhaps a little on the slow part sometimes, but i liked it.

finefin 2013-12-18 12:13

the music didn't work in my browser (firefox) - nonetheless this was a great interactive story! nice work!

emmelineprufrock 2013-12-18 14:03

@finefin hmmm, the macro was supposed to work in firefox, so I'm not sure what's up with that -- but I didn't play test there, so it might be something up on my end. I know for sure it said that it probably wouldn't work on Safari and Opera.

pjchardt 2013-12-18 18:57

Very nice writing! The way you use the mechanics/interface of Twine to drive home the brutal nature of the events in the Kitchen is wonderful and haunting!

diptoman 2013-12-19 09:47

It's well written, but uh, how does it use the theme again? :\

emmelineprufrock 2013-12-19 13:41

@Diptoman the theme is probably one of the weakest aspects, I'll admit. The hard part, for me, was integrating the theme without making it obnoxious or just including it as a line of dialogue (which I thought about doing).

There are a couple of ways it could be related to the theme. I took the idea of "You Only Get One," and focused more on the "One" aspect -- she is the only one left, for example. She only has one bullet. She has a strong sense of isolation and scarcity -- the concept of limited resources that I feel is present in "You Only Get One." It's probably more tangential, but I do think there is a connection to the theme.

mcapraro 2013-12-20 20:43

i love that you wrote that story, its really spooky and compelled me to read more. the music really caught me off guard at the end. great mood building.

mephi 2013-12-20 23:18

I was just about to write "Man, you've written a lot for two days" when I've realized you are a woman. In an instant it makes sense the protagonist to be female too.
You're very good at setting the right mood.
I see no problem with theme - "You only get one - home!"
Respect for making a text based game, which won't appeal to the mass. Was that you singing the songs?

emmelineprufrock 2013-12-21 17:39

@Denis Chakarov yes, that's me singing. I needed the accent and it had to be a woman. No one else in my dev group fit the bill. :)

gamelabbers 2013-12-22 09:56

The combination of text and song is amazing. You're right, the shaky quality of the recording does really add to the sense of insecurity you feel for the protagonist. I must add you do have a lovely voice. The story is well written... Glad I stumbled past your postmortem. Thank you!

drkrunk 2013-12-22 09:59

That was pretty well-done, the writing was fantastic and the atmosphere was perfect. Great job!

strangelander 2013-12-22 16:38

Audio worked in Chrome and Firefox for me, OS X. Maybe it's just me, but it's annoying to listen to lyrics and read text at the same time. Probably one verse of Amazing Grace would have sufficed.

Your writing is solid, very minimal, yet evocative. I would like to see it cleaned up and developed into a longer story. Reminded me a bit of *The Reapers Are the Angels* by Alden Bell, for setting and protagonist (check it out if you haven't read it).

arkrothe 2013-12-22 16:54

The story was good, and well written, apart from a couple of contradictory instances (like when we're in the mine, if we click on the description text, it says that she never "home", it said that she still wouldn't light a fire here, and then suddenly she wants a warm dinner).

Other than that I enjoyed it. Would like to know more about the thing that had happened. Or is it that i missed some branch where that is explained?

christina-nordlander 2013-12-22 17:15

Very well-written, with a lot of realistic detail. Very nice use of music. On the downside, the story has been done before, and the plot is very slow-moving at the start. Those are minor nitpicks, though.

I might play again later to see if I can get a different path.

A couple of typoes: "remnats"; "prys" should be "pries"; "her Mamaws" needs an apostrophe. Also, the title of the game is spelled "Olde" in-game, but not on this page.

dekart 2013-12-22 18:26

Good story.

emmelineprufrock 2013-12-22 20:05

@Arkrothe There's references to people she has lost, but there's no specific explanation of what "happened." I wanted to leave that up to the imagination, and I also felt like she didn't know -- so including it would've been outside the scope of her knowledge.

postmodestie 2013-12-22 23:14

Windows Firefox audio works. Was nice to read and play, but ended apruptly after the incident, maybe i didn't get it all, skimming through the text..

stigmawall 2013-12-23 22:00

I like your story, it's tense and you singing is lovely! Congrats!

tompudding 2013-12-24 20:14

Very atmospheric writing, nice job. Not a great deal of choice, but the mood more than made up for it. Songs were perfect.

gatechgrad 2014-01-06 04:45

Nice text-based game. Those Spaghetti-Os were delicious!