FoonLudum Dare ExplorerLD30 → World of Beatrice, the girl next door

World of Beatrice, the girl next door

By lyszie

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CategoryRankScoreCount
Coolness370
Mood2643.34
Theme6623.12
Overall6763.09
Innovation6773.00
Humor6792.15
Graphics8252.68
Fun8602.69
Audio9471.69

Comments

ViliX 2014-08-25 05:31

The connection was unclear at first, but it's a lovely story :)

boodog 2014-08-25 05:32

Nice job!

fserb 2014-08-25 05:33

Amazing idea. And I really enjoyed the image :) super cute. <3

stimpact 2014-08-25 05:33

This is the first game I've ever played that used Twine. I like your taken on the theme of 'Connected Worlds' to connect the player with others in the same world. The theme is especially relevant with all the things blowing up in games development this week. Nice concept, well done :)

ninjascript 2014-08-25 05:35

Poignant.

miwuc 2014-08-25 06:28

Cute and depressing, but that's the point. I would have liked it to be longer!

micdoodle8 2014-08-25 06:29

Nice job. Very interesting non-linear story.

jas7229 2014-08-25 06:37

What a story! I really love the progression through life choices and the way I could feel connected to choices I was making in the game.

franklins-ghost 2014-08-25 06:48

Nicely written and thought the way you used the twine engine was great. Enjoyed reading this and seeing what would occur from my decisions.

kadybat 2014-08-25 07:05

My favorite part about Twine is the way it can make a person feel someone else's lived experience and this is a shining example of that potential. Well done!

kadybat 2014-08-25 07:06

A defining game for the Twine platform. On an 'objective/measurable' level, Twine games are technically basic, but this game's writing is incredibly poignant and transports the player somewhere else.

royvanrijn 2014-08-25 07:33

How very different! Now I regret everything in life...

snuux 2014-08-25 07:41

Amazing!

lars-faust 2014-08-25 07:58

Short but good.

dunin 2014-08-25 15:53

life is hard...
poor Beatrice

lorniebear 2014-08-26 14:54

The story is so depressing!

aumni 2014-08-26 20:31

Nice story!! I enjoyed it :]

trickfishpie 2014-08-26 22:34

I'm depressed now :(

Good job though :)

bluemaroo3 2014-08-27 14:18

Very moving. Lovely little twine game :)

jaj 2014-08-27 14:23

Well done! :D

McFunkypants 2014-08-29 00:17

Interesting. I liked the font and the choices, and just wish there was more to it. Good work!

mrexcessive 2014-08-29 14:45

Hi there. Loved your story, ended up with baby and no sleep ... Nice presentation. Shame no background music to score... but not sure if Twine can do that ? Good job!

grayhaze 2014-08-30 12:30

Beautifully written and very revealing on multiple play throughs. Well done! :)

encryptedcow 2014-08-31 18:56

Nice job. It was pretty good te first couple play throughs, but after that I started realizing that sometimes taking either choice in some spots will lead you to the same thing. (Saying Yes or No to Coolio still results in you guys together.) I think if you were to open it up more with some different endings it would work a lot better.

snoother 2014-09-03 15:54

Engagingly written and has an important message that's clearly presented. I like that you've highlighted both sides of the prejudice: the stupid expectations for woman to aspire to marriage and disproportionately fulfil childbearing roles, but also the condescension sometimes directed towards women who do, for many reasons, end up in 'traditional' roles.

On the negative side, and this has been said so I won't swell on it, the choices could maybe be a bit more profound. A lot of the time the choices redirect to one set path -- or is that part of the message too? The inevitability of it all, how it can't be escaped?

jacklehamster 2014-09-07 19:13

So every path has a sad ending?

dohan 2014-09-08 16:54

Interesting entry. I've played it several times to see other paths and I found how a couple of choices leads to the same results a bit disappointing (specially the one saying 'no' to Coolio), but the story kept me hooked.

grooveman 2014-09-14 00:07

I love that underneath the soft aesthetics, the commentary is incredibly sharp-toothed. I particularly like how you used the nature of Twine branching stories and that the player was likely to play through again to work in the theme.

larzan 2014-09-15 21:52

Short but good. I like the intimate touch it has. Although it is about a female protagonist i think that everybody can see a bit of his / her own life in there, wanting to live your life a certain way but colliding with society / partners / fate which seem to push in the other direction.
Thumbs up!