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By emmelineprufrock
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| Category | Rank | Score | Count |
|
|---|
| Coolness | 2 | 89 | | |
| Mood | 48 | 3.94 | | |
| Overall | 294 | 3.32 | | |
| Innovation | 354 | 3.02 | | |
| Fun | 517 | 2.59 | | |
| Theme | 533 | 2.89 | | |
Comments
7hesama
2016-12-12 04:20
I would be interested to know your thoughts on what kind of backstory could produce this scenario, and why people would react like this. The word choice is, honestly, too heavy in my opinion. It takes me out of it; I don't think people would really talk like that, but then, things like Mad Max and the Handmaiden can get away with phrasings just as ridiculous. I'm not sure what the difference is - tbh maybe I'm just uncomfortable with the subject matter.
Strong ending for sure, tho.
@Kris with a K - The idea came to me when I was on Train Jam this year. People kept talking about a the movie Snowpiercer and that's the kind of backstory I was thinking of.
eerongal
2016-12-12 16:45
At first, i thought this was going to be some kind of artsy "it's hard to be a teenage girl" story, and kinda rolled my eyes. Then as I kept reading, more and more started to seem a little "off", until i realized what was going on. Then i became invested.
All in all, very well done. Not sure how much it qualifies as a "game", per se, vs just a short story, but I enjoyed it. My only issue was it was much too short, but that's what usually happens with ludum dare! Good work!
abezuska
2016-12-13 00:21
This was enthralling, I feel like each one of these you make pulls me in even more than the last. I love how great writing can trick your brain into thinking you are there, feeling the world, smelling it. This was intense, uncomfortable, and suspenseful... seriously great work. Mood 6/5
I love interactive fiction like this, and this was such a slick, stylish entry. Super brave to do something this out-of-the-box and creative for LD, brava!
jcmonkey
2016-12-13 03:23
nice game idea. i like the story. :D
This is stunning.
Brilliant, creepy writing.
Phew, got stunned xD I don't really how to rate this as a game. U got big imaginations! Gj
Narrative and interactive story - well done. Great mood for an interesting concept. It was enthralling ++
hermetic
2016-12-15 05:19
Good story, good mastery of the setting, well drawn characters; You should probably continue it. Not really a game, though. In my opinion, the prose is really over dramatic for the subject matter. Maybe I don't read a lot of post-apocalyptic fiction though....
maekeruu
2016-12-15 05:58
OH WOW!! I love interactive stories like these...
I get curious through the experience, good job with that!
Great writing, I can picture it all in my head :)
Maybe adding BGM audio would make the experience better. That aside, this is solid :D
Very well written and some really well done poetic mechanic.
jusw85
2016-12-18 18:31
Really atmospheric, the mood was really well done. I only wish it lasted longer.
Nice entry! I would have loved more images though, since the stylized hand looks great!
leom
2016-12-19 23:24
Nice entry,
My english is quite average so I probably missed a lot of the story but for what I understand that was interesting. The setup is very nice, succeed to install a nice ambiance with the images (i played the post jam).
As i played this game, i was thinking that ludum dare is this kind of experiences where you're simply stunned by the others game.
Maybe it's a bit too creepy, but it's been wanted i suppose, so very well done ! :)
Quite impressive story.
Nice art work and interesting game, great effort.
Grrrrr. Jk i'm not angry! Rar xp. It's late Great game though 10 shmeckles!
Interesting idea. I wasn't too engaged, and the parts where I had to click all three options seemed kind of pointless. Maybe I'm just not a fan of interactive fiction.
blushine
2016-12-23 10:21
Very creepy. "Snowpiercer" definitely came to mind as I played it, even before reading the comments. The sensory descriptions were great, I felt like I could hear the rickety sounds of the train, the unnerving smells and sensations. Great job with the atmosphere.
The way you rarely used names and wrote in third person got a little confusing at times. There were parts where I wasn't quite sure which character "she" and "her" were referring to. Not sure if that was intentional or not.
There were definitely seeds of the theme in there, but it didn't feel particularly central to the game. I also agree with the other comments that there wasn't much "game" to it. Even in a Twine game I think there's still plenty of room to do interesting game mechanics, which would have been nice to see. I didn't mind the shortness of the story, you definitely got the point across quickly and effectively.
Wow, definitely worth the warning, but great to attack some rich subject matter. Full points for setting a mood in this game. This is a gripping narrative!
wowa_u
2016-12-23 23:35
Story and narative is very well done! And great atmosphere!
zener
2016-12-27 08:34
Great idea and superb narrative, most atmospheric game I have played in this Ludum
xanjos
2016-12-29 21:42
The narrative had me gripped through the entire story.
Incredible. The thought of menstruation never bothered me, but you managed to make me feel disgusted. The images are beautiful and help me get there. You did a great job of instilling fear in me of this alien culture and what that means for the protagonist. Amazing
This was really ... unexpected, at least for me. I really liked the mood and the writing you did! Certainly, it gives me creeps.
Very well written, interesting game. I included it in my compilation video series of the Ludum Dare 37 games, if you’d like to take a look. :) https://youtu.be/pmGwBmW3Ksk