pudding 2019-04-30 10:34
No clue how to pronounce the name, but I really enjoyed this unique take on the theme. Keep it up.
Foon → Ludum Dare Explorer → LD44 → ☐☐☐☐☐ : an experimental narrative
| Category | Rank | Score | Count | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Overall | 683 | 3.31 | 45 | |
| Fun | 909 | 2.84 | 45 | |
| Innovation | 170 | 3.64 | 45 | |
| Theme | 745 | 3.10 | 44 | |
| Graphics | 910 | 2.85 | 43 | |
| Audio | 633 | 2.61 | 41 | |
| Humor | 713 | 2.54 | 39 | |
| Mood | 344 | 3.57 | 44 |
No clue how to pronounce the name, but I really enjoyed this unique take on the theme. Keep it up.
The concept is very cool, although it's quite difficult to follow. Sometimes the text overlaps, and sometimes the options seem completely irrelevant to the choice. There may be some part of it I'm just not getting. I also feel like this mode of story telling could be incredible with different little tidbits of text appearing, or the background and text changing color. Well done, keep it up. :)
Good Game!
Keep it up!
I'll admit it was a bit slow and confusing, I did not really know what was happening ^^ I know this does not need to be fast paced but here you sometimes have to wait long moments). Maybe adding some animations to the characters, simple blinking eyes or whistling, might help for that, and give more life to the game!
Otherwise, the game is chill, clean, the story is cool to follow ! Good entry :)
Please add webGL or macOS support, I want to try your game!
The game is pretty with simple art style. The story is interesting, but there are a lot of bugs and game is VERY SLOW. Before age 14 I want to quit game, because nothing was happening. Boosted speed will fix this!
bugs2.png
The idea has a lot of potential, but you definitely should work more on bugfixes and the story. Texts of the options sometimes overlap each other, options themselves are sometimes not really related to the story. If you manage to fix it though, that'd be a nice game!
Hi, thank you everyone for the comments ! Just added the possibility to SPEEDUP the game in the version v4 with RIGHT.
Thanks @jestemstefan ! I added an option to speedup the game by pressing RIGHT in the new version (v4) and fixed this bug.
@bartman Thanks for the interest ! Just added the macOS version to the itch.io ;)
Interesting take on the theme. For art students, it's a very clean graphics.
Love the concept of the minimalist representation for the story. I really like how the thin line at the end makes for a pretty emotional moment.
Here's what I think needs improvement - The positions of some of the texts sometimes overlap and get really hard to read. - Maybe I just didn't get it, but some of the decisions felt arbitrary to me. Maybe making the cause-effect more evident with visuals or just the text? - The names of the characters were also a little difficult to differentiate for me. Maybe reducing the amount of ☐s would make it easier to read
This game best shows that graphics are not everything.
@pudding Thank you ! If you enjoyed that take on the theme you should check out this one, Autumn Papillon ( https://ldjam.com/events/ludum-dare/44/autumn-papillon ), it takes kidda the same base idea but in a completly differrent way ;)
this is a really interesting format for storytelling! sometimes the text overlapped so i couldn't read it, and i found the game a bit slow (i didn't realise you could speed up the scrolling) which is a shame because overall it's a really interesting concept, and a cool use of the theme too! :)
Really like the concept, but sometime the text overlap with eachother, but it's a minor problem
Good entry, interresting concept ;)
I think that art style has nice mood. Keep it on!
Interesting concept and I like the simple art style.
i liked the simple mechanics and art style, but sometimes the text overlapped. other than that, the story was great and the game was really well done, great work!
Great gameplay, clean style, nice storytelling. I really enjoyed it :D
Hey thanks for your game I really like it :) But pleaseeeeee tell me if you can prevent our friend to not left the city ? :'(
@roman-grzegorzewski Hi thanks a lot for your enthusiasm, sorry but we can't say it directly to you in the comment, don't wanna spoil the others, let's just say that the most important part is what's in the middle, how your replay it to have a better perception of the end. Let's just say we're planning to change the title by "has left the city"...
@pudding @matthew-hrehirchuk @ayama @junt74 @hadesfury @huyta @voidfishing @pusheeneiro @tonho @manuel-rauber @alexfsmirnov @jestemstefan @bartman @saering @sillyman987 @ohfiddlediddle @gerardb @roman-grzegorzewski Thanks a lot, we're very touched by your positive comments ! Also for those who played had troubles with text collapsing, they must be fixed by now, and we also hadded the possibility of accelerating or going back while reading texts on the timeline, so feel free to gave it another try !
This is a very neat way to present a narrative. I quite like how you can "rewind" to see what happened before, but you're not allowed to change it. Really cements in the timeline permanence. The minimalist modern aesthetic (both art and sound) are also quite fun.
I'm interested in hearing how the story code is structured! Was it written in such a way that it's relatively simple for you guys to add more events?
@jjjjason Hi, thanks for the comment, very glad you liked our game !
And basically yes, it’s made in a way you can easily modulate the story ( as long as you have a solid flowchart of the timeline ). So the system is like this : -When your player object (the orange ball) encounter a « balise » object (the little pink balls), the choice has instructions about generating two « choice » objects (the squares) and refer to another script to know witch objects to create depending on the « balise » « matricule » (for exemple if the « matricule » associated to the « balise » is 4, it will generate the choice objects choiceA4 and choiceB4 associated to it) -When you choose a « choice », the « choice » will have instructions depending on his « matricule » (so A something or B something) will check the script with all the instructions to know witch « balise » to generate next. Those instruction include the name of the « balise » the « age » when it appear on the timeline (witch gave you a x-coordinate in pixels when multiplied by 1500 (the number of pixels for one year) ). (for example if the player choose the choiceB4, it will check in the script with all the infos of all the « balises » and see that corresponding balise to generate is « balise 8 » at the « age » 21)
Sorry if my explanations are a bit confuse, English is not my first language so hopping it’s clear enough !
A nice game, I played it a few times. Congratulations for your first entry. It was cute, I felt like I could connect, but it was a bit frustrating because I don’t know whether my actions had any noticeable effect on the story. Maybe all my runs were too similar, or maybe there is not enough content variation yet, I don’t know.
Just a note: I didn’t really like the sound effect for “confirm”, maybe it was a bit too strong compared to the general mood. I’m sure you can find something softer that will fit well!
About the speed, I wouldn’t say the game is necessarily slow, it just has its own pace. But sometimes, when nothing’s happening for a couple of years, it feels like it’s stuck. I suggest adding a scrolling background (maybe just tiny dots, like dust particles) or an animation on the orange tail… basically, anything that tells me something is still happening.
Super nice game! I really love the way the story is told! And the story itself is great, and touch me a little And the minimalistic art style fit really well with the rest!
Great game! Congrats :D
I like choice based games so this was a nice experience. I am not sure if you managed to add different outcomes because i did 2 very different runs and at the end my friend still left. The confirm sound actually bugged my ears a bit but that might be just me.
As a whole, i think you have done a simple, yet pleasant experience.
I need to admit, this idea is very unique. I really like playing this! But in my opinion there could be a few changes. For example texts are very often too close to eachother and it's hard to read them (maybe the older ones could slowy fade out, before the new one comes?). Also in each 'section', for example when player is in cafe, there could be some ambient added (people talking in background or something similar) and to make visuals a bit more appealing, maybe some coffee stamps here and there? And the last thing is story, there were moments during gameplay that I felt decisions I had to take were very random. If You'll continue working on this game (I would love to be your beta tester :D), try making story more consistent.
Note: This is just my opinion. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings in any way, I simply think that there's no point in writing only extolling reviews, because despite being just positive, it doesn't really changes anything. That's why, I tried making constructive critic, because in my opinion it improves our games.
This game is very unique, I can't remember having seen something like that for a while. With that said, I don't really see the connection with the theme ; there's a meter for your age, but no matter what I do, I end up at age 30 with the same result, my friend leaving for no apparent reason. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong, but anyway, I applaud the idea, it's very innovative. Nice job ;)
Bonus points for an original game idea :) Good job.
I like the game idea, and the graphics was interesting and good. The story was really weird and for me it often not make any sense. Overall a fine LD game.
a very interesting way to go about narrative-driven games, however, I might have expected more especially from the go back in time mechanics. simple art and sound effect is a wise choice since this your first game jam. the addition of a soundtrack tho would have improved the game mode quite a bit. what you can improve is the story since events felt disconnected and it do not drive you to look for what gone happen next. finally, make the go back do something cool like erase or change the outcome. overall good job and congrats on your first game jam game.
here some screenshot doesn't know if that considered overlap tho. image (13).png image (14).png
@samh @lubaka @togimaro @jk5000 @ attala thank you ! The confirmation sound was just a quick random "bib" in Bfxr, it's not mean to last. And we are working on the pace also. @samh have you seen that you can speed up with the left arrow ?
@corqi thanks a lot for your complete answer, we are working on post-jam version that correct most of the problems you pointed out, I'll be very glad to send it to you when it's complete.
Note : don't worry, noone feelings were hurt, it's always very enjoyable to have detailed criticism !
@quasar47 thank you, very glad you like our idea, we take inspirations from Reigns and One Family (a navigator game from the creator of out there) and tried something more narration driven than system driven. For the theme, in the beginning of the jam, we thought of something with more systemic gameplay : all your action where suppose to cost you years of you lifespan and by this way be your currency to progress in the game. But on the way, we had this idea of a more linear narration we really like and we steped out of the theme because it was making the gameplay heavier.
@4knights thank you, we're working on a post-jam version that adds some more "vivid" elements (like soundtrack or dynamic background colors). Thanks for the overlasping screenshots, those are kind of annoying too, I'll check them out.