The Final Clue

wondry 2022-04-06 10:19

Nice theme, I enjoyed playing it, but would like more decisions.

lmb 2022-04-10 18:52

First of all, I like very much how you were attempting to try different things with a text-based game/IF! Overall, the game looks polished, with good use of music and sound. Writing is good in general, with some nice/funny remarks (like the one about the police of your future ex-country), but also some passages that didn't sound very natural.

Now, as much I like the experimentation (that's one of the nicest sides of Ludum Dare!), I can't say I liked the results very much -- at least not on their current state, maybe some of the ideas can be made to work better. Here's a summary of my thoughts and some suggestions. I hope you find them useful!

I think my biggest dislike is the real-time nature of the experience. This mechanic incentivizes me to not read and enjoy the story, and instead to just click the next option as quickly as possible. Every time I tried to slow down and appreciate the text and the story I ended up in jail. The different kinds the random events, also contributed to take the attention off the main story text.

I don't dislike the ideas _per se_, though. Maybe if the time passed in discrete steps, and only after I selected some choice, I would enjoy the random events and time-dependent action.

Thanks for the game, keep experimenting! See you on the next Ludum Dare!

bougiebirdie 2022-04-14 00:58

Whoa, what a unique experience. You don't really expect to see a visual novel in a jam, and the time pressure is quite interesting. The text made me want to read it, but the timer kept me pressured to read as quickly as I could. It's quite anxiety inducing - which might be the point given you're trying to get away with something illegal. I could see this format working quite well for a thriller or horror story.

ryusui 2022-04-14 01:21

I haven't played a Twine game this stylish in years. I will say, however, that I'm not sure text-based presentation and real-time mechanics are a good fit? I like to take my time reading and I don't like how the clock is always ticking; it makes it hard to enjoy the writing. ^_^;

Speaking of - a text-heavy game like this definitely could've benefited from an editing pass. I'm going to guess the writer was either not a native English speaker or was very, very pressed for time; the grammar errors and odd word choices didn't detract much from the experience, but they did stand out.

lpettler 2022-04-14 23:19

I'm going to repeat the point made by everyone so far: this game features the core contradiction of being text heavy which rewards **not** reading the text and just clicking on to advance the story. Rather than be real-time it might have been better suited to a time-is-resource style so that decisions affect time. This might be paired with a few real-time events so that the anxiety of the game is kept in tact.

Overall, this was a daring experiment that shows a lot of promise with a bit of polish...which is what a Jam is all about!

quinn-patrick 2022-04-14 23:30

The story here has a good hook. I actually got excited when I found out it was going to take place from the perspective of the thief. Unfortunately, the time pressure turns it into a speed reading challenge. Actually, the timer is so much faster than anyone could read, that it's more like speed guessing, which sort of defeats the purpose. Also, it might've been smart to have someone with a more firm grasp of the English language edit it for you, if you had such a person at your disposal. There were sections where I wasn't even sure what you were trying to say, which wasn't helped by the fact that I only had time to skim the text.

Anyway, it's bold to attempt interactive fiction for Ludum Dare, so good work overall.

bluedingo 2022-04-16 02:28

Real fun and unique, I love choice style games, and not to repeat what the others have said, but the time limit could have really been improved if it was tied to the choices and what order you did them in.

don-fouts 2022-04-17 01:23

Wow you put a lot of work into this story, great work! I wish I had more time to enjoy the story, but I was able to catch most of it. Great entry!

alphish 2022-04-18 07:53

The moral of the story: if you learn fast reading, you can pull off any crime you want. ;) But yeah, I concur with others that the story-driven and real-time natures of the entry are at odds with one another. Having each event take a fixed amount of time (rather than having the clock tick in real time) would definitely help to make the mechanics more balanced, in the sense of letting the player enjoy the story at their own pace. I still tried to read as much as possible - skipping through parts I read already on my earlier playthroughs - but it would be a lot nicer if I didn't have to restart because I took my time to read descriptions along the way.

Technically, since you can succeed in the game, getting caught by the police isn't inevitable, but I can forgive that because the alternative would be yet another of these depressing games where losing is the only option. Aside from that, the story was enjoyable, there have been some nice remarks too (like the fact that countries without the extradition treaties tend to be the kind of countries one doesn't want to live in).

Well done, overall, it just needs the timeout mechanics that don't punish enjoying the story.

igor-kingamer 2022-04-20 01:59

Liked it! Nice story, immersive. It just seems too fast to really read everything and make choices (but English isn't my first language). Anyway, I enjoyed playing!

criobite 2022-04-20 02:37

This was actually a really fantastic take on the theme! I don’t play a lot to text-based adventures and didn’t expect a lot, but the writing and timed aspect really drew me in. Great work! 😃