yorwba 2013-04-29 16:35
Dropbox blocks me out.
Foon → Ludum Dare Explorer → LD26 → BareBones
By zeelyndz
| Category | Rank | Score | Count | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Mood | 83 | 3.62 | ||
| Theme | 206 | 3.46 | ||
| Innovation | 297 | 2.89 | ||
| Overall | 362 | 2.89 | ||
| Fun | 460 | 2.32 | ||
| Coolness | 1364 | 46 |
Dropbox blocks me out.
Yep! Same here. Looking forward to taking a look once you fix it :)
error 403
Dude, within dropbox, you need to grab the public link and post it here
I was unable to review this game because I was blocked by dropbox, even after signing in! Sorry!
Think your privacy settings made it so that it wasn't accessible. =(
It's working now, sorry about that!
I like the idea of two people "breaking down" to the bones. The concept is interesting and reflects the theme, but the prose is dense.
A little pruning, and breaking the writing down into smaller passages with more hyperlinks, would help the flow.
this is some serious writing going on here - I like it :)
interactive prose has real potential and I'm happy to find such a game on LD.
well done
I really like the mood, and the endings (I went back and explored it further). The prose is really nice in places too.
I guess part of me would have liked more exploration, but this is me thinking like it's parser-based IF, which is not the only thing Twine can do. So ignore me! I really enjoyed the atmosphere and the mood. Lovely piece.
Thanks for letting me know it was back up :)
That was different.
I appreciated the writing. However I couldn't explore the game as it felt sexually violent to me, despite the setting.
Interesting and very well written, good job!
Very different.
Incredible. Well done, I'm happy I happened upon this one.
Great writing. Sometimes repeats phrases too close together, common rush stuff, but the ideas were well explored and vocabulary was well put to use.
Spellcheck: "franticly" should be "frantically"; "out tibias" should be "our".
Quite a good interactive story. I'm not very interested in erotica, so I was happy to find that this wasn't your average sex scene. There was enough variation to make me play through it for all the different storylines, too.
My one complaint is that the writing skill fluctuates a bit. At its best, it's absolutely arresting; however, it can get a bit overblown in places. There's also a bit of an overuse of the word "off", occasionally several times in the same sentence. (And "off of" isn't necessary: you could just write "off" in those instances.) I'm probably judging the writing very harshly, but a game like this stands or falls by the quality of its writing.
That said, when your writing is good, it's very good indeed. The central idea of this story is going to stay with me for a long time. I also like how it's possible to reach one ending without encountering the fantasy/surreal element.
You're a really talented writer. Good going with this one!
What an unusual twist! This isn't a thing that I had ever imagined, and I am always glad for something new.