lynnaira 2017-08-02 02:18
very well-written! it was emotional and intense, and it fit the theme well. good job! :^)
Foon → Ludum Dare Explorer → LD39 → Her Final Words
By eliana
| Category | Rank | Score | Count | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Overall | 464 | 3.30 | 22 | |
| Fun | 673 | 2.75 | 22 | |
| Innovation | 302 | 3.25 | 22 | |
| Theme | 196 | 3.84 | 21 | |
| Audio | 341 | 3.15 | 21 | |
| Humor | 509 | 2.11 | 19 | |
| Mood | 34 | 4.20 | 22 |
very well-written! it was emotional and intense, and it fit the theme well. good job! :^)
@lynnaria Thank you very much! Based on your comments, it looks like I've accomplished what I've set it to do with this story, and that makes me happy. :)
Your game looks interesting too; the screenshots look lovely. I'd love to give it a go, but it's Windows only, & I have a Mac. :(
All the best to you! ^_^
This is really well done - short and intense. The timing of paragraphs appearing and the sound effects both heightened the tension, which pushed up the emotional intensity of the final conversations. Kathleen! :cry:
This was awesome! The sounds and the story were great, and the timing was just right. great job! Really innovative idea too. Do you write for a living?
Wow, a text game! I've likes the way you mixed texts and sounds to tell us your story. My only feedback is to work a little bit more on the UI. I know that this is a text game, and can be done without any UI interferences, but I personally thing that if you do a friendly UI, it will call even more attention! But this is just a feedback about something that I know that was probrabilly not the main focus if the game... Soo: Very good entry! :D
@celia14 Short & intense-- that's exactly what I was going for, as well as ramping up the tension throughout the game. Thank you very much!
@quaternius Yeah, I playtested the game a lot to get the timing juuuuust right; I'm glad it turned out well! I don't write for a living, but I would love to do freelance game narrative designer work. :)
@uniday studio Thank you very much! I definitely agree with you on the UI; I didn't change too much of Twine's defaults, except for some of the colors. I wrote, coded, & made SFX for this in 24 hours, so I unfortunately didn't have time to alter the UI much! I'm hoping to release a post-jam version that updates the UI & also adds background music, so stay tuned!
Nice writing and mood. I am a sucker for branching storylines and a while into it I was thinking it was far too linear with no impacting choices, then luckily at the end there WERE :D Nice job
@designernap Yeah, the whole concept was designed around who to talk to at the end, which is why there weren't a lot of choices. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
A short story, with great writing!
I think that the sound effects, and especially the timing of the gradually appearing paragraphs, worked well to enhance the effect of the storytelling.
The story was also both compelling, and well written. It could have been a bit longer, perhaps with a few branches further detailing the Mind's relationship with the people chosen in the end. But as it is, it still feels both focused and complete.
A very nice game!
>As the Mind, I run, >in pursuit of the Reaper. >Cornered! I must choose...
Those are some really nice writing skills. it was intense and the mood was really nice. great sound effects. very well done :)
@somnium & @abdullah-sulayfani Thank you both very much! And nice haiku, @somnium ! :)
I really enjoyed this. I've never played an interactive written story so this was a new experience for me.
The writing was great, suspense kept me locked to my screen. The timing of the appearance of transitions and of the sound effects was spot on and heightened the mood of a story that already had a great one.
Whether or not it was intentional, I like that it would take several minutes of clicking to redo the choice at the end. It makes the choice more final and real.
Was the story perhaps inspired by Worm? Do you intend to do more with the world of this game?
Really well written. You gave me a colossal sad. This is one of the several really impressive text-based games that I've seen this jam. I'm definitely rethinking the possibilities of the medium. Great work!
@iamsodarncool You've never played an interactive fiction game before? Well, I'm honored that Her Finals Words was your first, and that you liked it! Thank you for your kind words! I will say though that the game wasn't inspired by Worm, as I have not read Worm. :) @simonhutchinson I'm glad my game helped you reconsider interactive fiction as a medium; I think IF has a lot of potential. Thank you for playing, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Not my kind of game, but interesting and well made. The sounds seem to fit in very well! I like the uniqueness of this game, keep it up! Great job!
Very good -yet sad :'(- story ! Nice work on the pacing & sound effects ! I like the fact that there is only one choice in the whole story at a crucial moment. Well done !
Nice mood though sad. Not a game (not enough interaction). Rather a well timed animated dialogue. Music would probably add a lot.
Hey, another game about dying! [Ours is a similar concept](https://ldjam.com/events/ludum-dare/39/when-it-counts). I really enjoyed the writing, and the audio was particularly visceral. At first I was going to critique the lack of explanation for who each character was, but I think that was really important to the game. The only thing I would add is a shortcut from each end back to the decision point. Thank you making a great game. It made me sad. Good job.