Foon → Ludum Dare Explorer → LD33 → Truth be untold
By pseudavid
| Category | Rank | Score | Count | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Coolness | 2 | 91 | ||
| Mood | 278 | 3.27 | ||
| Innovation | 329 | 3.22 | ||
| Overall | 482 | 3.11 | ||
| Theme | 614 | 3.15 | ||
| Fun | 630 | 2.78 | ||
| Humor | 655 | 2.27 |
The concept is innovative and interesting. The prose is good and the stories are interesting (not just the usual combat/exploration, but a bit of psychology).
I'd prefer to get more sense of progress. As it is, after a while it looks like a compendium of choices. I didn't know if I'm getting better / worse, what point of the game I'm in (how much more lies before me), etc. Maybe just stating a goal at the start would make that better (any would do).
Thanks! It was intended to be more on the "fiction" part of "interactive fiction", but on the other hand I wanted the choices to be more than a simple choice, I wanted them to have a game mechanic. The success of each truth/lies choice is calculated from several factors, which are hinted in the feedback box after each choice.
The problem with progress, I think, is lack of content. For example, if you got a particular NPC many times and got successful, you would notice that you can get away with even harder and crazier lies (since NPCs have individual trust). But I simply couldn't write so much story. The final submission has half the storylines I had planned, but I'm happy with it.
Wow, there's a lot of content here! The drawback is that it seems a bit disconnected at times, and it's not really clear how my being believed or disbelieved led to the next situation. I'm not sure whether I like the randomness, but it does make each playthrough different. However, I seem to always end up getting killed :(
Hey, you're pretty good at Twine! Putting a background behind the choices is pretty smart.
I really enjoyed the simple and clean layout you made and the way you styled the 'results' of lying or the truth.
I also felt that I missed a few bits in between the scenes. Jumps, as it were.
All in all, great to see more interactive novels in the LD! Also, kudos on the crazy amount of content. Wow.
Maybe I should have made clearer that the disconnection, the big ellipses, or that your successes don't necessarily lead to your intended result, all that is intended.
On the other hand, difficulties and probabilities have not been tweaked and balanced.
Concept is quite nice
Interesting game with well-written text.
Well thought out and seems to be quite lengthy
I enjoyed the story greatly, it was very well written.
At times I wasn't sure what the choices I was being asked were and what the outcomes would be.
The story is very well written but i get confused from mid story.
I told many lies and dead in the end :(
Well written, I was mainly truthful but was a little confused at times where there was only a single choice. The early relationship arc was fantastic.
I like the idea behind this, but it all seemed very disjointed. Things happened, I made a choice, other things happened, and there wasn't really a lot of continuity. This very much felt like the kind of thing that would have benefited greatly from your having more time.
That's the first twine game I've ever played. I really enjoyed going through a couple of play-throughs. Though, I did have trouble following the plot in some places, the story seemed to jump a bit.
I think that is more a "life learning process" than a "monster" thing. It's very nice writing. Thanks!
I definitely enjoyed this! I love the subtle uses of "You Are the Monster". I felt I could definitely relate to some things there. Great writing!
Fantastic atmospheric writing that fitted the theme perfectly. Suspect that you might be a trained cynic or an author or a journalist or all three. It was beautifully written and certainly different for a Ludum Dare.
That was really good. I don't know if it's because I've never played good VNs (or twines), but that was a really good experience.
And I thought I did a lot of writing for my Twine game! There's tons in yours. The problem I had is, it wasn't really clear to me what effect the choices I was making were having on the long (or short) term progression of the story. Unless that's a subtle commentary on how little effect your actions have on your life (unlike mine, your story has layers... mine is a bunch of stuff that happens).
It does make me think about other things I might like to do in Twine though (and my game for this LD is the first time I used Twine, so I didn't really have any ideas before).
Thanks everyone for your kind comments. As I said before: this is more fiction than game. While the mechanic of making people believe in you is gamey, with factors that lead you to success or failure, what happens next in the story is not necessarily connected to that success/failure. It might follow it, it might be random, or it might be an ironic reversal.
This is part of the game design and intention, but it's quite clear that the final game doesn't communicate that at all. A lot more content, as I wanted, would have made it clearer.
That's a lot of contents, and a good (Machiavellian) mechanic!
Really in depth and intertwining story! I'm really impressed with all the content. The writing wasn't bad either!
Cool story, but that's a lot of text to read
Maybe not so interesting gameplay-wise, but as interactive story... amazing! Simply amazing.