eldog 2014-04-28 10:06
It's a long game!
I got the bed ending.
Great music. Made it seem quite surreal.
The player should definitely break up with Christy though, that girl is t.r.o.u.b.l.e.
Foon → Ludum Dare Explorer → LD29 → The Day After
By caryoscelus
| Category | Rank | Score | Count | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Coolness | 2 | 76 | ||
| Humor | 257 | 2.97 | ||
| Mood | 514 | 3.03 | ||
| Audio | 559 | 2.78 | ||
| Graphics | 671 | 2.98 | ||
| Fun | 700 | 2.86 | ||
| Overall | 745 | 2.98 | ||
| Theme | 904 | 2.81 | ||
| Innovation | 984 | 2.48 |
It's a long game!
I got the bed ending.
Great music. Made it seem quite surreal.
The player should definitely break up with Christy though, that girl is t.r.o.u.b.l.e.
I really enjoyed this. The plot was genuinely very enjoyable. I expected a dating sim at the beginning so I found myself overjoyed when the plot took a dark turn. The humour will definitely be appreciated by fellow LD developers. I got the normal ending and I intend to go back and find more later.
Nice graphics and music. And a good shock of a twist.
But the prose was at times weak, with grammatical and spelling errors.
Five endings? I kind of like the one that I reached.
This was actually quite good - some misspellings but what ever, i would have made the same error if i made a story based game ^^ genuinely enjoyed playing it to the end - i got the "true" ending.. what ever that means ^^
Fun little story - I got the most normal ending, it seems. With a little more time and polish this could be really good!
Thanks for comments!
Spelling - yeah, shame on me, haven't checked before publishing. Updated now in post-compo version.
Note that if you want to see different endings (or different branches, whatever), you can use skipping feature of renpy: holding ctrl skips through text you've read.
Got Bed, Blood and True end. Too lazy to playing it again for searching the remaining two endings. The story has a good potential. I hope you keep continue developing this. :)
This was awesome. The humour was good. The story was great and the ability to skip text to get to the endings fast is very nice. Also gamepad support is pretty cool! Thanks for making this!
Good plot, i like the multiple choice. In my opinion, maybe you should try to change the visual novel feel abit. as in add more gameplay elements to the game somehow. I dunno how but let your imagination decide :D
I don't really like visual novels, but the graphics are quite good. I also liked the music
You know, I got four out of five endings (True, Normal, Bloody, Bed) and I have to say that none of them explained how Jack's dream is supposed to make sense. I had a hard time understanding how the narrative structure fit together... there were too many pieces that didn't fit with the main plot, and I had little sense of agency or involvement with proceedings. What does the shooting range guy have to do with anything? And so on, and so forth.
I appreciated that you diverged from the standard VN plots--that's great. The concept is solid. Still, I think that some more focus on how you're going to tell your story would help you out.
VictoryGarden, yeah, there are many parts that weren't worked enough and which are thus look completely unrelated. I'll be working on this when i get back to text editing (right now more busy with gfx stuff).
As for dream making sense - i'm afraid there can't be proper explanation of that unless lots of mystics involved.
Well, actually i'm gonna make it all have rational explanation ^_^
Another visual novel, it's quite interesting to see that this is a genre that's picking up in Ludum Dare. Liked the plot twits, would love to see it with improved visuals.
I love it!
I got the true ending in the first try! Pretty neat story! I'll checked all of the other endings and the true was definitely the most satisfying. I always love games with multiple endings. Good job!
While I know it's hard to make graphical assets on your own, good writing can make up for that. Sadly you didn't really manage that here.
There were so many spelling errors it stopped me from getting into the story (and some parts just didn't make sense as a result).
While proofreading is boring, it'll make or break anything story-heavy.
GrooveMan, are there really still that many errors in post-compo version?
Anyway, i'll proofread after finishing extending and rewriting.
Ah, I should have been clear - I've only looked at your contest entry. It feels like it'd be unfair to pass judgement using something made afterwards.
I do appreciate that the post-compo entry would have been proofread, but considering the genre you're working in, I'd argue that a refined script is important enough to have on the first iteration - just as key as good jumping physics would be to a platformer.
Refinement eats up time, yes, but I would enjoy a short or linear VN with pitch perfect writing infinitely more to one with increased content, but roughly-written.
Well, rules allow fixing typos and i wasn't doing more than that in terms of spelling in that post-compo version uploaded.
Anyway, i don't really worry about LD judgement at this point. I learned from it to do better next time, but more importantly i have something to work on now.
So i'm more interested in people wanting to play final version than having high rating per se.
Bed! I liked the minimal graphics, even if you say they're just placeholders it's part of the charm.
Nice plot twist! The story was short, but it was so interesting that I played the game until I made all 5 endings. Great work! =)
The "true ending" looks kinda like a "sequel hook", in my opinion... I would like to see a continuation of the story! ^^