sam-butterworth 2023-05-01 21:19
Really beautiful and poignant narrative. Such a unique take on the prompt
Foon → Ludum Dare Explorer → LD53 → birds and their song
By perryseity
| Category | Rank | Score | Count | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Overall | 638 | 3.53 | 28 | |
| Fun | 791 | 3.22 | 27 | |
| Innovation | 838 | 3.05 | 28 | |
| Theme | 928 | 3.48 | 28 | |
| Graphics | 1073 | 2.06 | 24 | |
| Mood | 118 | 4.15 | 28 |
Really beautiful and poignant narrative. Such a unique take on the prompt
im OBSESSED with how descriptive and atmospheric your writing is!
Great writing!
Interesting text to read, but sad that there is no music or illustrations, but good on you for doing such good writing
Fantastic writing!
interesting story. Well written. Can't say I know what a twine gameis though
i loved the style of writing - very atmospheric, conveys the mood of a desperate devotee on a quest in a dirty-ish town very well imo
the descriptions are poetry, very satisfying!
You're clearly a good writer - saying a lot with not too many words! Very nice work. Personally I'd like more chances to choose my path or pick a different word (particularly at the start), but there's something very nice here.
@steven-c Sorry for the confusion! Twine is interactive fiction software used to make it.
@tobiasd Thank you! I initially wrote it with the idea that there would be more puzzles and more than rumor to chase to more than one locale, but I worried about finishing it in time. I'd like to go back and add more routes one day maybe.
Very good. If you make more twine games I'd play them.
As a fan of Divinity 2 Original sin, Shadowrun Dragonfall, The Delight Game stories, and Day R survival, I absolutely loved reading through this immersive story! Ahh.... now I wanna find another one to enjoy with a nice hot coffee.... Awesome game!
Incredible story, great writing. Normally I'm not much for these types of games, but this really held my attention.
Hey it's our first time taking part in a jam too, congratulation on your entry! Very neat game, the story gave us chills and the way you tell the story is very well written.
Great writing style. You create a nice atmosphere. More options would have been nice like already mentioned.
Thanks so much for the kind comments! The suggestions are definitely giving me ideas of what to work on next.
Lovely writing. Top mood. Congrats on a first entry!
Obviously, more choices and more writing would be great but for a first game-y type functionality to add, maybe look into a simple checkpoint - when reaching a bad end, restart from the first choice rather than at the absolute beginning.
Very peculiar story, I like the world and atmosphere it created, spooky and magical and mystical. I got two endings, I think? First time I tried to steal a memory and got caught, and the second time I got the piece of the goddess and put it in her wrist, and it seemed to have worked out :)
It's also very thoughtful of you to add trigger warnings, I checked them before playing.
It reminds me of text games I played a long time ago, and while it is understandable there are no graphics, I wish you could add some music (even if some stock music, still opting out of audio). I ended up reading it while putting my own music on (well not "my", I put some Aviators songs that I thought would fit the atmosphere :))
Overall, it was a very nice experience, and my favourite place was of course the market with curious vendors and wares.
Fantastic job with the writing & wonderful take on the theme, it really moved me. As others have said, if you want to keep working on the game (or a future one) I think audio (atmospheric leaves rustling, wind howling...) could go a long way for immersion, and I think for graphics, some stock photos with an overlaid filter for example might work nicely.
Altogether it felt like a really magical experience that I'll treasure.