FoonLudum Dare ExplorerLD29 → Beneath the Surface / Warm

Beneath the Surface / Warm

By finefin

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CategoryRankScoreCount
Coolness354
Mood1373.66
Humor5632.43
Theme6183.20
Fun6412.93
Innovation6482.93
Overall8252.91
Graphics11222.22

Comments

christophe 2014-04-27 23:50

At the begging I was just clicking not reading just because I wanna a read the final end (so lazy)! But after I realized it looped, I start reading. That was a special experience. It was bewitching.

paperblurt 2014-04-28 08:30

Nice little story, but I feel that there's no need for two options as I get directed towards the "right" one anyway.

Nothing wrong with just clicking instead of having options that don't matter.

Other than that: Good job....

finefin 2014-04-28 11:33

thanks, PaperBlurt. Although there are several ways to fail the main story (SPOILER! and the idea was the infinite loop /SPOILER!), I understand that I could have done a lot more, especially when experiencing interactive stories like yours.
As this is my very first Twine project, I guess I'll download your source and learn from it ;)

snoother 2014-04-28 17:22

It is very linear, but that kind of worked for me. And the whole loop thing is pretty cool. Also it's an interesting use of the theme.

Oh, and nice use font effects and font variety -- something so many Twine games neglect.

bekokstover 2014-04-29 18:59

This is a great story to turn into a Twine adventure, and I don't think it's that bad that you used it. That's creativity! The way you implemented the words as if he's losing his mind really do the trick. I feel weird now. Really weird.

tobiasw 2014-04-29 23:31

Well, that was a great experience! It sounds like you've taken a lot from the original story, but converting it into interactive fiction format probably still took a lot of work. It felt a bit too much guided though - I guess that's the price you pay when you take a linear story as a source.

Thanks a lot for sharing this!

caryoscelus 2014-04-30 19:19

I think i'm going to like this.. As for rules - i think you should've put this into jam category and it would be totally fine.

finefin 2014-05-01 08:24

you're right, I should have submitted this as a jam.
oh well, who cares, this won't win any prices anyway, I guess :) I made you read one of my favourite short stories, so my secret mission is accomplished!

gre 2014-05-01 08:57

Nice job, I explored all the paths, you made a nice work transforming the story into an interactive story game.

schnut 2014-05-01 09:08

Fascinating story, nicely presented. :-)

jacob-peltola 2014-05-01 10:12

That was deep, really liked the story

boodog 2014-05-01 14:16

Good job!

thorig 2014-05-02 07:16

Good job.

syben 2014-05-04 00:16

Nice story, the looping is in a fact a nice improvment to the story telling.

petey123567 2014-05-09 15:24

that was interesting!