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Growing (a Lump)
Growing (a Lump)
By ebbasuke
View on Wayback Machine
| Category | Rank | Score | Count |
|
|---|
| Coolness | 2482 | | | |
Comments
jod
2015-12-14 14:34
Solid writing. The story flows well!
What would've helped set the mood would be some custom fonts (http://twinery.org/wiki/frequently_asked_questions#how_do_i_import_a_google_web_font) Google has tons of them and they're really easy to import. Perhaps changing the background and font colours. If I can help with that, let me know, I fidgetted a bit with that for my own Twine submission (whether it helped or not, I'll leave up to the reviewers :)).
Cool stuff, keep it up!
The endings are quite chilling. I really enjoyed the story.
korvexx
2015-12-17 18:37
Two out of the three endings gave me good chills. Very creepy! I like it. :) I think adding some nice visuals with the story (pixel art even) would add a TON to it. Still, you set up a good mood and story. Good job!
I love horror, and this is really well written. The only minor nitpick I have to make is that there's a bit too much space devoted to talking about Ella; on the one hand, we get a good sense of her character, but on the other hand, it feels a bit disproportionate in such a short story. But like I said, that's minor.
Also, in some places, it feels like the links don't make it very clear what action the protagonist will take. That made it a bit hard to go for a different route when replaying.
But those very small problems aside, this is a good, understated body-horror story with a very nice amount of branching. I enjoyed playing!
h-attila
2015-12-23 22:25
It's an interesting take on the theme but I found it ultimately too linear and short.
miwuc
2015-12-27 18:34
Nice take on the theme, a lot more original than trees! I thought it was well written, but could use a bit more action. I liked the ending with the mirror. The other ones had a nice thing going on but I found them a bit underwhelming. Keep that vibe but develop it more!
2015-12-28 18:55
Great creepypastas. A slightly longer story with more choices would have been better, but this was nice either way.