FoonLudum Dare ExplorerLD29 → A bot is sinking

A bot is sinking

By melondonut

View on Wayback Machine

CategoryRankScoreCount
Mood2603.30
Innovation3353.09
Theme4722.96
Overall5972.80
Fun7032.15
Coolness146046

Comments

kddekadenz 2014-04-28 23:22

I wouldn't say that's a game, but a digital story with various branches to discover. Anyway, the story was ok, but missing some interesting twist to me.
I rather dislike the present tense for telling a story.

cr2crstudios 2014-04-28 23:37

Interesting story. Good interface!

strd6 2014-04-28 23:42

Thank you for telling this story. It was illuminating about the recent event.

paperblurt 2014-04-29 06:29

I'm not the one to judge as I too have typos and grammatical errors in my Twines, but here they are a bit too many.

But I DO like twines that doesn't take place in a fantasy world or in space.

Keep it up!

melondonut 2014-04-29 06:46

thank your for your comments. I will correct the grammatical errors soon. :D

snoother 2014-04-29 08:34

Yeah, a few too many grammatical errors, but I too am pleased to play a twine game that isn't fantastical. The subject matter was certainly interesting and well-dealt-with, but the prose felt a bit plane.

snoother 2014-04-29 08:36

*plain

mandlebar 2014-04-29 13:14

A really interesting take on the theme and relevant to recent events! Story was well told too!

melondonut 2014-04-29 15:38

I know my writing is poor. ;( I have to study English a lot more. Thank you for playing and comments!

micdoodle8 2014-05-01 06:59

Nice job, very unique and interesting story.

tomski 2014-05-04 21:01

interesting idea!

melondonut 2014-05-07 17:54

Thanks for playing :D good to hear that!

the-nameless-kompany 2014-05-08 05:29

It's a good history. Maybe later you can add some images.

melondonut 2014-05-08 15:55

thanks for your comment :D I will consider it

arthurmaker 2014-05-09 08:44

Okay Pretty good work for being a text based game , WELL DONE.... CHECK OUT MY GAME

rabbits 2014-05-16 21:47

I've been following this on the news, It was cool seeing your prospective on the matter.

melondonut 2014-05-19 02:28

Thank you all! phew. there are still missing people.. about 10. It was just a disaster by human-error.

wschorn 2014-05-19 03:15

some nice writing but no assets, no clear writing style or characters

clinthoney 2014-05-19 04:13

Not a bad game just wish you gave the entry a name. Would of been nice if you had some kind sounds.

aeveis 2014-05-19 05:28

The different versions were interesting in revealing what actually happened.

acuity 2014-05-19 07:27

It felt like the story needed more branches to me, but otherwise interesting.

melondonut 2014-05-24 04:55

@wschorn yup. I admit it. I tried to make it really dried.
and actually there are many episodes regarding this accident so I could make some characters. but I was afraid that I would hurt the families of missing people if they play my game. ....I didn't want to make any unreal character, nor characters based on real people.

melondonut 2014-05-24 04:56

@Clinthoney yea it was really strange. I definitely put the title, but somehow it changed to jam entry. now I fixed it. thx for advice.

melondonut 2014-05-24 04:57

@aeveis Thanks!
@Acuity yea I made little branched on purpose. I just wanted to let the truth known. I know what you exactly mean.. thank you. :D