powerspark 2015-12-16 03:59
It is very interesting, I was expecting some ending based on the choices though.
Foon → Ludum Dare Explorer → LD34 → Father's Christmas Gift
By rein1
| Category | Rank | Score | Count | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Audio | 336 | 3.33 | ||
| Mood | 746 | 2.93 | ||
| Overall | 788 | 3.00 | ||
| Fun | 915 | 2.60 | ||
| Theme | 972 | 2.87 | ||
| Coolness | 2073 | 26 |
It is very interesting, I was expecting some ending based on the choices though.
Did not work for me
The mood and story are really immersive. The audio adds a lot to the story telling. There are a few mistakes here and there that sometimes break the magic (at least to me), but overall, it's a very pleasing experience. Maybe because I'm a young father... Great job.
Did the choices even matter? It didn't feel like it. The music was repetetive and it was honestly quite boring. Also the weird grammar didn't help. Also doesnt fit any of the themes? Theres only one button? Anyway cool that you got a game uploaded in time but it was unfortunately not up to my standard so yeah.
Did not work for me on a mac!
Pro:
+ Nice emotional game
+ Music is nice, although a bit repetitive
Con:
- Choices doesn't seem to have any effect in story
Nice job!
Okay, the grammar... needs work. If you're not a native English speaker, I can understand, but if so, you should probably get a native beta reader in the future.
Other than that, there isn't much here. I've played and enjoyed interactive stories this LD, but the story here is so simple, I'm essentially only clicking to get to the next part. However, the story is pretty cute and has some funny moments. There are places where I can tell that the writing would be good if the grammar got fixed. The cover art is nice, too.
The scrolling text is neat, but got boring after a while. I feel I would have had more patience if the story were just presented in non-animated blocks.
I don't want to sound too critical. Like I said, the idea is sweet, and there is some good comedy. You definitely have potential. Just, for the future, have a look at the grammar (or get a beta reader), and focus on making something with more player input.
Cool idea, could have used better presentation though. It seemed like you copy pasted lines for certain things, like the expensive gifts and pets, which was a little weird. It was sort of disappointing that the choices didn't affect the ending. Music was fitting!