Crossed Paths:Connected Worlds

Category	Rank	Score	Count
Coolness	2124	10

solifuge 2014-08-26 06:48

Hi! Congratulations, first of all, on your very first Ludum Dare game jam! I hope to see you again in December :]

I went looking for Visual Novels and was happy to find yours! I really like your character designs, and the music you chose was cute. Did you compose it yourself? You've clearly put a LOT of effort into this!

The only thing I would say is that I think the player might like some decision points sooner in the dialogue! When you're writing for games, you don't have as much opportunity to give lots of character exposition. The goal is to engage *interactivity*, so the player has to feel like they're taking an active part in the narrative, if only in interpreting it to make good choices later!

Thank you for the game!

grooveman 2014-08-28 21:01

Ah, I do love cute romance stories. I'm not sure if I'm feeling the design decision to have both characters look at the 'camera' (Usually you choose to either look through the eyes of the protag or have the characters look at each other).

I think you needed another, more sombre music tracks, since the upbeat music kinda made the more heartfelt parts fall flat, but overall it was an enjoyable story!

Keep experimenting with Ren'Py functions (I'd say look into how to move characters around the screen and changing the look of the textbox as your next steps), and you'll be a pro in no time. Thanks for making this!

sunflower 2014-08-30 16:41

Okay, it was rather interesting, though there have been only two choices from what I saw, out of which the first probably still had the same outcome eventually. There's just some thing I really wasn't fond of - it seemed only the characters' mouth expression changed during the conversations, while eyes, gestures etc. (especially eyes) were static, which made especially Claire look somewhat... I don't know, aloof? *shrugs*

Still, that's a nice start for your first entry. ^^"

traumendes_madchen 2014-08-30 18:19

Hey, another RenPy dev ! Not bad for someone who had just begun, the story was nice and all. I just got the good end but it was satisfying (YURI FTW).

Just a little nitpicking but you shouldn't show sprites over a CG, it hides the picture and doesn't add much to the story =o.

nicepenguins 2014-09-03 15:34

Well done for your first ludum game !
Like Victory Garden was saying, it's need more interactions to engage the player. And i find that the dialogues were a little bit cliché.

moonlightbomber 2014-09-04 12:30

Overall, this VN is good, save for some nitpicks.

1. Event CGs are called event CGs for a reason. They signify an event that cannot be conveyed by ordinary character sprites alone. As an experienced VN connoisseur since 2005, please do not place character sprites when showing event CGs.
2. Some typos and grammatical errors remain, but they do not bother me a lot.
3. A credits sequence would be nice.